(old picture I wanted to repost that will probably go down as one of my favorites of all time)
Back to business.
I have 10000 things that are going on in my mind.
This happens a lot. And sends me into anxiety attacks. Of I must get it all done. And I don’t know why I put so much pressure on myself ? I can think of some but that is for another post.
Right now I am doing laundry trying to clean up stuff that within 10 minutes will be messed up again. And Morgan doesn’t feel well. Which makes everything way magnified of the stress.
And I want to work on Project life.
One day at a time.
This week is way packed with a lot of meetings/appointements. And I just tell myself I will get through this. I have no choice. Well in actuality I prey a lot. I mean a lot. God is tired of the same prayer. “Please God let me get through this day”. And basically beg of his mercy.
And lately I have been eating so bad. That really throws me into a tail spin. If I at least eat right I think I got a hold of things better.
I don’t even know where this post is going ?
The perfection of reality. Of what people think about other people. When I look at a blog and think. She is so lucky she has it all together. Or I wish I had her life sometimes.
I don’t know why my brain thinks that way ?
But lately after picking my word “true” I have came to a lot of conclusions about a lot of things I was not true to myself about.
And I am changing them. Or in the process of changing them. And it is freeing actually.
I am a person that dwells on things over and over. And a lot of it is things I cant control things that have happened in the past that I can not change. And that is the hardest part.
They include some of the people I am closest to in my life.
Its a pattern.
And I am breaking it.
Because I owe it to myself.
And that is freeing.
And sometimes I wonder why now ? I think because even though in my post I feel or write as I am weak. I am actually stronger than ever. There are a lot of weak parts of me still. I am work in progress.
I hate to be so vague I will expose more later. Promise.