i never.

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I went and got an  AA in Criminal Justice.

I was going on to get my bachelors degreee in that also.

But life took over.

I got pregnant with Natalie and stopped that dream.

My mom was a stay at home mom. And that was kind of what I invisisoned when I had her.

She ended up having some medical problems so it just all worked out.

And it felt like sometimes we were growing up while Nat was growing up.

And one wise man once said, “There is no manual to raising childen.” And when you look around this crazy world you can really see that.

I am a judgemental person. I try not to be but it is me. I work on it very much.

I pray about it very much.

You see you think when they are small and young this is hard. But you have no idea how hard it is when they are becoming and growing up into their “own” person.

And that is what I face right now.

Natalie is growing up. And she has her own opinion. My mother raised me basically like a nun so I didnt get out very much until I was 18.

It is a very scary world out there !!!

But lately Nat has wanted to give me some looks and say a couple backtalkings. And in truth I am in shock when it happens. It is nothing really bad ??

I am not used to it. Or this growing up.

Maybe in true reality I thought that I would get lucky and not have her turn into a teenager.

I couldnt be that lucky.

I think about it quit often. Her growing up. Are we making the right decisions?? Am i doing and saying the right stuff.. It is plain hard.

Because as my husband would say ” I have no filter.”

It has gotten me into some real trouble in the last 35 years of my life.

And growing up i was the worst teenager. Smart mouth. Curfew breaking.

And stupid.

And now I am facing dealing with Natalie.

My husband in truth likes to prod me about this. He  is like Are you going to let her talk to you like that ??

He is a poker. Irritator.

Since there is no rule book on raising children.

I am still trying to method. Be honest with them. Make them work hard. Give them praise. Reward them. And love them.

And that is where I stand.

Because in the end what else can I do ??

Until Then.





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