this blog.

 

I am not going to sit and write a blog about my life and fill others heads with the assumption I have the most perfect husband and life in the world. This is my life story  I am documenting I am right now in the busiest times of our lifes between school, 4-h, baseball, and whatever gets thrown in the mix of this crazy life. I dont have time to scrapbook as much as I want so this basically a journal of our Prather Lifes. But it is my life I own it and at times I am not proud of who I am because I am just not. I am not proud of the mouth that I have. And unfortunately we cant take words back I always say can I get a rewind of what I just said. But I own it. I own it all. Dont know why ? it is my forgiving heart that i am so forgiving I think others are the same way but reality strikes in. I am a work in progress. I fail miserably some days and other days I am proud of who I am. My marriage well that is alwasy a work in progress. I married a man that is more honry than myself. We love with all we have and we fight the same way. I would like to tell my self I would change that but I dont really think I would because that is why I married him. The passion that we have for life. Probably some day with kill us. But we make it through I dont know how. By the grace of the Lord above I would say. Some days are just hard he is a crank pot and i am just a crabcake. dont know how or why? but it is soon forgotten and we go on our way loving eachother. and i think is this dyfunction i am teaching my children or the realities of marrying for love and not money !!! All i want for my children to be happy. whatever that may be the controller inside of me says dont say that but i must because i seek it. happiness and to each of us that is a different thing. happiness to me is love. the love i feel from my children and my husband because i have felt sometimes the world was crashing in but as long as i have my family it will all be ok. and isnt that how we should feel. family is our soft place to fall when the world isnt so forgiving. I am very private person. i guess in todays society we want perfection we seek it we are so closed to let anyone know I am not perfect my life is not perfect my husband is not perfect and i am ok.  i am coming to copes with that is ok. and letting people know whats going on has made healing in my life. confiding and letting people know has opened a door of i am not alone in my life. what we percieve is not really what it is. i look at peoples lifes and think they have just a perfect little life and then they open up and i am like blown away. we are all human. we are real. we are not tv stars in this perfect little life. and it is the bumps and mountains that give us the battle scars that make us stronger in the end. because I believe that in those times we grown the most when we are tested. i am just a wrambling mama tonight. but its the realities we live everyday..!! so whatever is going on in your life realize you are never alone you always have someone out there that is going through the same thing as you. and that is comfort to me.

 

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