In God’s Time.

I really dont know what this post is about but I wanted to blog..I actually have alot of pictures and blogs to post but life is as usually busy and blogging is last on my priority list right now.

I took this picture on my 34th birthday last week !! To tell the truth I havent been taking pictures alot lately just random shots..It felt good, photography is my get away something that makes me happy inside like I did that..!!

I have been thinking alot about my word of the year “cultivate” and realizing God puts things into your heart for reasons you dont even know until it is happening around you…Little did I know when I wrote that word I thought it for my family..But that word actually has been about me…The past couple months of my life has been the hardest and I keep writing and thinking it and i believe maybe I should stop could it get worse harder complicated !! You see i have never ever thought that God wouldnt put you through something you couldnt handle but I am totally sure he thinks I am one tough mama !! But these are life and people lessons sometimes you have to learn the hardest way. I dont handle stress very well..Actually at all !!! Never have !! And I am a control freak to say the least…That will never change but I have really been working on releasing some control to the man upstairs just so I can function a little better. And the only way that happens is to prey ! and I prey  !! Prey for peace in my life. prey to it all work out..i have been reading Joyce Meyers and one part that sticks out in my mind was she couldnt sleep and she was preying to God why cant I sleep was it something that happend in that day that i am not proud up…and she preyed for forgiveness. !!! and lately i prey God let this all go..Let these feelings emotions that burden my heart let is just go..Because peace and healing is what i prey for alot…

It is a daily struggle..But i feel like I am slowly returning back to Nicole …Not the same one ..i have not been proud of her the last months..But a refined happier, content, laughable, Nicole Prather..Because that is who I really want to be. She is a better person.

I was driving to church on Sunday listen to a radion station and this man called in saying that he lost his 9 year old daughter to brain cancer last year…And all his life he has been searching working for the american dream making money doing what we all do..and real fast he realized that is nothing money is nothing if you cant share it with the people you love the most in this world..and it is true we are alwasy busy busy and for what…and we often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this world when we need to focus on the most important our family..because life is not forever….it is now…we are only gauranteed this moment and i often reminded of that when i watch my kids growing up…..and so i hold on and cherish every moment..tell my kids i love them and how great they are..and how special they are…because soon enough i will send them into this big world of reality..and i want them to be prepared for it…and have the strongest foundation…to realize it is hard but those words that me and brandon told them about them are real…they are special they are strong…they are better than the rest…and for them to never forget that… ( they played this song and i love it is my new favorite song)

They are the most important..these doors..i shut them..and it is these people..that matter the most to me..and i do whatever i can to protect them and this family…!! that is me…



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One response to “In God’s Time.

  1. love the happy Nicole :) life is a struggle at times, you must trust in the lord. You are truly blessed just keep telling yourself that mama!

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