mind.games.

those would be the two words to describe what I went through yesterday.

for the last two weeks i have been in sheer irritation mode.. many emotions hitting all at the same time but it was so wierd once me and my sister walked into Corral 12 something happened and I was in my mode…of go big or go home. It is an outa body expierience 17,00o people you are running with..and the feeling is crazy. when the marathon began it was starting to sprinkle that was crazy.. and then we just started running…and i was thinking these crazy thoughts  like how am i going to do this? how can i possibly run this long? and then i really began to break it down in my mind..like lets get this mile down and see what happens lets get another mile down and see what happens…and then the miles began to fly away..at about mile almost four my sister started having leg pains i didnt realize it until i turned around and she was there and then she motions keep going.. i really didnt want to but I did because I was thinking I need to get this done.. and so I really began… and it was just me running against myself.. when i set out this journey it was just to say i did this me no one else.. i am thirty three years old..and i made this happen… and i kept on running and running… not stopping i did slow down to get some water for the water people but i didnt want to stop for the fear of not finishing because my body would say, “what the heck are you doing to yourself?” and around mile 10 is really started to hit me and my mind my body was like out of it.. and i was just there running. it was wierd because i was running in back of this old man like 75 years old and he had this shirt on that said,

“I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me“. Philippians 4:13.

I am a sign girl..because I honestly believe the reason I was there and was making it was because of the strength he gives me even when I dont deserve it… And so I kept on running.. About mile 12… my body was completely gone and I slowed down and walked for about 5 minutes…and I was thinking I am there…just keep going… and I ran and ran ….until I saw the flag waving I was like Thank You Lord..and then turned the corner. to see the end…My time was 2 hours 37 minutes. for 13.1 miles….

I had such wierd emotions and do right now… I was like so out of it.. You cant really think about what just happened to you…!!!

I ended up getting lost away from my sister and brandon and mike .. we finally found eachother…

Before the race we did some video taping interviewing….and at the end we did some interviewing.. but it was just emotional for me and my sister…

When I started this almost two years ago.. it was because of her.. she really motivates me to become healthier..she had told me I could run this race….and I believed her…And I am thankful for that…

I dedicated this race to all the fat chicks…. I started this weight lost journey almost four years ago..and the road is long and you will have set backs but i never ever forget where I come from…. I couldnt even be on the treadmill for thirty minutes when i started and look what happend yesterday….

all because I never ever gave up….

i never gave up.. when my daughter would be crying when i am pushing her 6 to 8 miles in her stroller..i never gave up when i had severe muscle fatigue from my c-sections, i never gave up when i was dead tired and still got up to run and 5 in the morning, i never gave up when it felt like the world was against this happening….

and i am proud…

i love you erin… thank you….

and at the end of the tape i told her that my next goal is going to be to do a triathon with her… !!!

and i will make it happen !!!

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “mind.games.

  1. Sooo HAPPY for you Nicole! Its very inspiring!! I am proud of you for taking this time just for yourself! That is a hard thing to do for a Mama but soo important! I guess our prayers worked! You go girly!!!!

  2. Awesome! YEAHHHH YOU DID IT!!! I bet you feel great! This is very special! something never to forget! Very happy for you & this post is beautiful!

  3. Erin

    I love you too! I am so happy that you have accomplished one of your many fitness goals. I am truely proud of you, you have no idea!!! You have worked so hard for this and it showed at the race with your time, that is amazing! i’m sitting here at work and i’m thinking to myself, i just ran 13 miles on Sunday. it doesnt feel like i did, the whole race went by so fast i barely remembered it. i think i was too busy looking for you! :)

  4. Erin

    P to the S
    you need to send me some pictures!

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